Got a chance to see The Super Mario Bros. Movie today. 
A little later than everyone else, but the Easter weekend was really busy for me. The last video game adaptation I saw was Sonic 2, which I lambasted in my review last year. I was feeling equally trepid about Mario, not because of its ignominious 1993 predecessor (which put off Nintendo for three decades), but because it was being animated by Illumination. I'm not a fan of this studio, since they have a penchant for making cheap films with lazy humour (fart jokes and "Banana!") all to serve the God of Profits. But after seeing the trailer and the attention to detail lavished upon the setting, I was much optimistic about the plumber's prospects. So read on and see how this latest adaptation fares. Let's-a go! 
The Super Mario Bros. Movie starts off with the two Brooklyn plumbers struggling to find success. After a botched house call, they're whisked away to the Mushroom Kingdom which is under imminent threat of being conquered by the evil Bowser. The brothers are separated, and it's up to Mario to find Peach so they can stop Bowser and reunite with Luigi.
Despite my reservations with Illumination, I have to give them credit here. This movie feels like a love letter from fans to fans. It's no cinematic masterpiece, but I'll happily admit I had fun watching it. 
Visually, it's gorgeous. The Mushroom Kingdom has never looked prettier, and there are many items and obstacles taken straight from the games to serve everyday purposes for the Toad denizens. Just like with Detective Pikachu, my eyes were constantly darting across the screen to try and catch all the references they included. The movie takes the game mechanics in stride and is playful with them. There are different types of mushrooms, flowers and costumes galore. When Mario and Luigi need to get to a job in time, they take a shortcut that feels like a classic side-scrolling level. 
The difference in contrast between this film and Sonic 2 is stellar. Whereas Sonic 2 failed to expand beyond the Genesis games, Mario takes cues from its vast history with references to Galaxy, Odyssey, 3D World, and of course the Kart series. But the fun doesn't stop there, as even Donkey Kong and his clan get in on the action. When our heroes approach their domain and I hear Jungle Japes playing in the background, I got giddy. 
And that's another huge plus for this movie: The music.
As faithful as the movie is to the visuals of the games, it shows the same reverence to the franchise's compositions (mostly by Koji Kondo, but also some contributions from Rare). As a fan, it stirs your emotion to hear these tunes recreate the atmosphere from the games on the big screen. 
However, there have been some complaints about the use of popular 80's songs peppered throughout. Honestly, it didn't bother me since they were sparing enough and relatively muted in the scenes they were featured. Compare this to the Bumblebee movie, which tried to cram 80's music down your throat, and you'll find this much more forgivable. Of course, the biggest controversy leading up to release is the film's cast of voice actors. I would never have pictured Jack Black as Bowser, but he nails the role with a guttural bass that does King Koopa justice. Anna-Taylor Joy is.... 'different' as Peach, but I wouldn't want her shrill game voice in the movie anyway. Chris Pratt has gotten the most stick for replacing Charles Martinet as the title character. But after hearing him voice ol' Mazza over the course of ninety minutes, I think most fans would agree he eases into the role pretty well. He doesn't try to force an Italian accent in every scene, and Mario's traditional catchphrases are usually played for laughs. 
The only letdown for me was Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong who just sounded like a middle-aged guy trying to do a curmudgeony voice.
General movie critics are less enamoured by this film, and I don't really blame them. It's very light on the story, but what do you expect from a movie based on a series that has Bowser kidnap Peach time and time again? I don't fault the premise, but my biggest complaint about the film is how it diminishes Luigi's role. It's called The Super Mario Bros. Movie, but it feels more like The Mario & Peach Movie. 
This could have been written as a buddy comedy, but Luigi is tragically sidelined for most of the runtime. If you're going to separate the brothers, you could at least give Luigi his own side plot in a haunted mansion, complete with Poltergust 3000. Unfortunately, he's mostly taking Peach's role as the damsel in distress Mario needs to save. The film tries to emphasize their fraternal bond, but can't express this beyond the stock phrase "Nothing can hurt us as long as we're together." It's just a cliché sound byte. 
Despite this misgiving, I still enjoyed this movie, and I feel the audience response shows a warm reception from fans. That's really who this movie is targeted towards: People who grew up playing these games. This could easily have been a cash grab mandated by suits, but the attention to detail could only come from people who love Mario and want to see him done justice on screen. At the end of the day, this shows how well a faithful adaptation of a video game mascot can be - and just how badly Paramount botched it with Sonic. While I swore off a threequel from the blue blur, I'd be happy to delve into another outing from the Brooklyn plumber. Illumination has earned my respect and my money for their effort, and I hope the box office numbers generates a follow-up. Heck, they might even earn the privilege to adapt more Nintendo games. Who's up for a Zelda movie next? 
I say go out and watch this, and let me know what you think. 
Oh boy, where do I begin? 
Okay, I'm back for now, but my situation is still in flux. When I last wrote here, I said I was in the process of searching for a new home after being served an eviction. And guess what.... it's still ongoing! I still haven't moved out yet. During my long search, I have accepted a new room and been rejected by the landlord/lady eight times by now! I've contacted between sixty and seventy landlords to request a viewing. 80% never write back, 15% say the room is gone, and the remaining 5% who do grant me a viewing ends in various misadventures. I've had bizarre shit go wrong where I was rejected by a conspiracy theorist for being vaccinated against COVID, having my viewing trip blocked because someone jumped on the train tracks, and getting turned away at the door of one house because the landlady rented the room while I was en route. It's just obscene. I'm not picky about where I move, I just need somewhere large enough to store my stuff. I've only ever turned down one room, which on the surface seemed large and affordable. I was about to accept it when I realized there was no kitchen for tenants! The kitchen is reserved for the landlady's granddaughter, while tenants have to make do with one microwave, no fridge and no kitchen sink. Sheesh! 
Since arriving in London in 2009, I've moved around seven or eight times and this is my LEAST successful search so far. 
It's caused no end to disruptions in my life and my artwork, and I've stretched my current landlord's patience to the breaking point. He's increased my rent as a result and I'm hardly in a position to negotiate. I just want to get out of here and put this nightmare behind me, but for now I'm stuck until someone grants me a room. *sigh* Anyway, I can't put Sonic Retold on hiatus forever, so I'm making an effort to resume updates despite the chaos. I know I shouldn't be doing this now, but drawing new pages might raise my morale in the face of adversity. I always work better under pressure anyway. I'll TRY and maintain weekly updates until the end of the issue, but I can't make any promises given my current situation. I hope you'll all be patient with me and excuse my silence until things settle down here. Pray I get a room..... 
Well.... I'm back. For now at least. I know some of you have been worrying about me and I don't have a lot of time to explain everything now, so I'll try and be succinct.
Things have not been going well for me lately. I'm getting kicked out of my home... again. My landlord wants to do some renovations around the house, so he served me an eviction notice. At least it's not for malicious reasons this time, but I'm tired of getting the boot time and time again. 
I've also had a lot of hardware problems (a partial hard drive failure among other things) along with various social altercations have cumulated in me being under constant stress this season. This has had a direct affect on my artwork, which is why I haven't updated Sonic Retold in months. Page 5-22, which is now online, is one of the most frustrating pages I've worked on in years. Nothing about this page turned out the way I wanted and I constantly felt like I was spinning my wheels on it. I painted more... and more... and more... but it never ended and the page didn't get any better. My lack of enjoyment is why it took so long to get it done. So I understand if some of you are a bit upset at my lack of posts, but I've been incredibly withdrawn due to all these frustrations and didn't feel like talking to anyone. 
Like I said, I don't have a lot of time to explain everything just now. I know many of you have sent me messages and I'll respond to them in the coming days, but right now I need to focus on completing this move. Once the stress of that has worn off, I'll try and get back to my regular schedule. Until then, I ask for your benign patience while I sort out my personal crap. Thanks for understanding. I'll try and stay in touch....
Got a bit of spare time today, so I wanted to talk MCU stuff. I know this post is a little overdue, but Marvel revealed their plans for the MCU going forward into the far-flung future. Reminiscent of the clairvoyant spate of films Kevin Feige announced for phases two and three back in the day, this time at SDCC 2022 we have a road map for phases five and six! Aaaaaaaaand I'm far less whelmed by the titles on offer. 
I'm not diving too deep into each title, I just want to share my thoughts on what's planned. Phase five kicks off with Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Apparently continuing where Loki left off, this one features our miniscule hero and heroine going up against Kang the Conqueror. I instantly lost interest in this after Kang's reveal, who I described in my Loki review as the worst villain ever in the MCU. Marvel is desperate to set up the next main villain for the multiverse, and the best they can come up with is "this eccentric black dude who Sylvie kills immediately". The only way they can rival the power of Thanos is if they bring in someone like Galactus or Onslaught, but Kang just doesn't have the chops for it. And now they're trying to go further with Loki season 2? I have zero interest in this. 
The other titles don't fare much better. I never read the Secret Invasion comics, but it wouldn't make sense to feature a Skrull invasion when they're far less antagonistic in the MCU. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 could be a hit or miss. I liked the first movie and hated the second. It hinges on how imposing the villain is. Echo and Ironheart are pathetic attempts to shoehorn a D-tier hero into the limelight. Seriously, has anyone ever heard of these characters before? And are they really making a show about Agatha Harkness? Why not a show about Ned Leeds searching for porn? 
I don't think Blade will be as edgy (ha!) under the Disney licence, and I feel Daredevil has run its course to warrant another season. Captain America: New World Order is a bit misleading, since it would be about Sam Wilson instead of Steve Rogers. Not shown here is a film about the Thunderbolts, featuring reformed villains. God help us if they bring back the gender-swapped Taskmaster.
But seriously, are THESE the movies and shows you comic book fans have been craving? Echo and Agatha? This list makes it painfully obvious that Marvel has exhausted its A-tier material and now they're digging into C-tier and D-tier territory for life support. It's only a matter of time before we get a Squirrel Girl movie. The only takeaway from this is that Marvel doesn't know when to stop! For most audiences, Endgame brought a sense of closure to the franchise and it's time to wind down. I don't mind occasional miniseries about WandaVision or Falcon and Winter Soldier to decompress after Endgame, but this whole multiverse angle has spurred Marvel to try and start up bigger than ever. Enough already! 
And if that isn't enough, take a look at the screenshot for phase six:
The Fantastic Four and two more Avengers flicks. Apart from the fact that I think audiences are forever poisoned to the FF after Fox mishandled them, tacking on a pair of Avengers movies just screams desperation! 
"The Kang Dynasty"? Was I really clamouring for the Avengers to fight Kang after Thanos? And bear in mind that these are the Avengers without Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov and possibly Thor (I don't know). It's not possible to make another Avengers movie without them. That time has passed! But like I said, Marvel doesn't know when to stop. Rather than ending on a high note, they plan on continuing for as long as possible until they eventually run this franchise into the ground. That's bad enough in itself, but what really worries me is that this tunnel-vision on superhero movies is draining resources and creativity away from other potential hits. There are plenty of other avenues for blockbuster films in various sci-fi or fantasy novels, or trying to elevate the standard of live-action video game or anime adaptations. Part of me wishes that every single one of these announcements bombs if only to persuade Disney to give Marvel a break and try something new. But then again, this is the same company that is content with rehashing their classic animation in live action. They're far past the point of innovation and far past the point of regaining my interest. Walt must be rolling in his grave.
Well, I said I'd review Obi-Wan Kenobi after the final episode, so here it is. As the third live-action Star Wars series after The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, this one had a lot riding on it. I had high hopes for this show. The series is directed entirely by Deborah Chow who has proven herself with some of my favourite episodes of The Mandalorian. I've always enjoyed Ewan McGregor's take on Kenobi and he's reuniting with Hayden Christensen during a period shortly before episode IV like Rogue One. All the pieces were in place for a home run. And then... I watched the show. 
To be fair, Obi-Wan Kenobi has a pretty strong start, opening with a flashback to Order 66 and the slaying of the younglings. The first episode is a good setup for the time period and the characters in play. Kenobi is a broken recluse after the fall of the Jedi, working as a meat packer while keeping vigil over Luke and disconnecting himself from the Force. After narrowly dodging a hunt from the Inquisitors - former Jedi now serving Darth Vader - he's summoned by Bail Organa to rescue Princess Leia who has been kidnapped. Aaaaaand this is where the series falls off the rails. Hard.
I watched Kenobi with positive expectations, but I found my good grace increasingly strained the longer it went on. I swear to God, this show just got worse and worse with each episode. It's overflowing with "stupid moments" that kill your suspension of disbelief, but let's discuss the flawed premise first. The trailer essentially lies to you, because it makes you believe the show will be about Kenobi's first interactions with Luke Skywalker. LOLnope! The ENTIRE series revolves around Kenobi rescuing Princess Leia. Now I wouldn't mind this as a side-story for one or two episodes, but when you base the whole show around this plot in a measly six-episode series - down from eight from The Mandalorian - it really tests your patience. I wasn't keen on this ten year-old Leia either. She just comes off as extremely annoying, especially when Kenobi tries to smuggle her to a spaceport and she pesters him with questions and "Make me float with your Jedi powers!" What a brat. I just wanted Kenobi to dump her back home and return to Luke, but she's with him for the whole series. 
But Leia isn't even the worst character in the show. No, the wooden spoon goes to Reva, aka the Third Sister. Oh... my... God.... I don't think I've EVER seen a villain so poorly written in a TV series before. She starts off as an overzealous huntress, determined to capture Kenobi to prove her worth to Darth Vader. She even goes so far as to 'kill' the Grand Inquisitor for getting in her way, but her eagerness outweighs her competence as she fails to glean any information from Leia or turncoat officer Tala. Later in episode 5 when she speaks with Kenobi, it turns out she's just playing along to get close enough to assassinate Darth Vader. 
What?! Is this some cheap attempt to make this character seem redeemable after she wantonly maimed a villager and threatened to torture Leia? When Reva confronts Vader and is defeated, the Grand Inquisitor returns with NO EXPLANATION just to avoid a continuity snarl with Rebels. (Of course he does nothing of importance.) But the worst part is that both Vader and the Grand Inquisitor leave Reva wounded assuming she will simply die from her injuries. Not only does she survive unaided, but her injuries are so inconsequential that she's back in fighting form by the very next episode! Am I not mistaken? Aren't Vader and the Grand Inquisitor supposed to be the most feared Jedi hunters in the galaxy? So why is it that both of them are so colossally stupid as to abandon a former Jedi with survivable injuries? Even more insulting is that Reva finds one of Kenobi's communiqués with Bail Organa and decides to hunt Luke Skywalker. What is her plan here? Does she believe that hunting Luke will win back favour with Vader after she tried to kill him? This leads to more stupidity when Owen and Beru defend Luke from Reva, scoring three hits on her while Reva fails to kill either. Let me say that again:
Moisture farmers Owen and Beru: 3
Sith warrior Reva: 0
Who wrote this shit? I can literally see the plot armour surrounding Owen and Beru. And after that whole chase when Reva is within a killing stroke of Luke, she has a flashback catharsis and decides to spare him. WHY?! A character this conceited and relentless should not be conflicted at a climax. Reva oscillates wildly between vicious stalker and redeemable warrior without a proper flow. This is NOT character development! This is just I-have-no-idea-what-the-hell-I'm-writing. 
It feels as though Disney is desperately pushing you to like this character for a potential spin-off series or for PC reasons (hey, we have a black woman villainess!) when I just wanted Reva to die in every episode. In fact, the show focuses so hard on Reva at the expense of her peers. The Grand Inquisitor is 'killed off' quickly, the Fifth Brother does NOTHING other than chastise Reva and there's even another female Inquisitor who is only there for background decoration. It's the Reva Show - you're just watching it.
Remember those "stupid moments" I mentioned earlier? Yeah, this show is LOADED with them. For one thing, the Empire forgets they have TIE Fighters, allowing Kenobi to escape from an imperial base and failing to launch fighters to disable a Path freighter. When Kenobi leaves the freighter in a shuttle to draw them off, why doesn't Vader pursue him alone while the Star Destroyer destroys the freighter? Earlier when Kenobi rescues Leia from Reva, he tries to sneak her out by - get this - hiding her under an imperial trenchcoat. WTF? When does this trenchcoat ever appear in any SW media? And why is Kenobi so intent on training Luke if he's cutting himself off from the Force anyway? Oh, and apparently Jedi spar with actual Lightsabers - you know, weapons that can cleave you in two - instead of practice swords. Even worse is that when Kenobi and Vader duel, Vader buries him with rocks and just leaves. Can he not sense that Kenobi is still alive? That's two episodes in a row where Vader just left an opponent alive out of sheer idiocy. 
The final nail in the coffin is that the show has the audacity to cameo Qui-Gon Jinn's ghost right at the end. I'd be okay for a Jinn cameo to support Kenobi in a crisis, but featuring him after everything is resolved serves literally no purpose other than saying "Hi! I'm in the show!" It's the most pointless cameo I've seen since Charlie Sheen in Wall Street 2. 
Obi-Wan Kenobi is a disaster. And unlike The Book of Boba Fett, Mando can't show up to salvage this mess. It pains me to rail on this show because I honestly wanted to like it, but the more I watched it the worse it got. I can't even recommend it as an interim until we get Mando season 3, because nothing happens that has any real consequence on the overarching Star Wars story. It's poorly written and poorly directed where not even the action scenes generate much excitement. Maybe Deborah Chow's hits with The Mandalorian were flukes, because she's clearly not the right director for this role. At this point I only trust Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni for future series, because they show the kind of reverence and attention to detail that make Star Wars special. Next up is Andor - a series that I'm pretty sure nobody asked for. Anyone else excited for another Star Wars show?